Saturday, October 11, 2008

Caldwell County: Home of the Mullet...and 2 Wal-marts

I love going home. Not to stay, of course. I would go stir crazy in the small town of Lenoir, NC. Too many hicks and rednecks and people with absolutely no idea of fashion sense. To them, crocs are the hippest thing going (and to me, crocs are the ugliest shoe ever - no offense to those of you who wear them!). And probably skorts...skorts are pretty high on the fashion market in my home town as well...sigh.
Anyway, i am here this weekend to celebrate the birthdays of my marvelous parents, and these are just a few highlights of my visit so far. Ahhh yes, i just love going home!

1) Watching the Friday Night Smack Down on local cabel with my father, the Right Reverand, and my mother, all things prim and proper.
2) Having only local cabel so that once the Smack Down goes off, we sit and watch infomercials of 70's musicians for thirty minutes.
3) The ridiculously HUGE spider web that spans about 3 feet across the front porch. We find it entertaining to throw moths and other unsuspecting critters into the web and watch the Lady of the Web (big hairy spider) drop down instantly and paralyze it with her venemous spikey thing and then wrap it completely in the white silky stuff. Then she hangs it somewhere on her web for later, and when she is hungry she goes and sucks out the insides she wants and throws the rest off the web and onto the ground (yes, we have watched all these things happen. It's better than National Geographic).
4) Having the ever-so-helpful Bethel Guys around to "protect us from huge spiders and their webs." To our grave disapointment, we were unwillingly rescued this morning when a Bethel Guy rudely ripped the web out of it's place so that the spider would not hurt Princess (our small dog). I think i'll go find his room today and completely wreck it.
5) Cheerios and Nectarines (pictured) for breakfast with my mom at 11:30 in the morning. After getting up at 6 am for the past couple of days, it was nice to finally NOT watch the sun rise and brag about how it slept later than i did. Phhhhbtt!
6) Blaming all the bad smells on the dog. Boy, can she clear a room. For such a small mammal, you'd be surprised. She even gets up and leaves. Now that's bad.

Bring on the rest of the weekend!!

1 comment:

kelly.renee said...

hahahahahahha... i love it.
sounds like lincolnton. we only have one wal-mart, though.